Too Legit to Quit

Legitimate.

I really fucking hate that word sometimes. As a young person, as a woman, as the daughter of a teenaged-mother, and as a supporter of equality, I’m tired of having people judge whether my life, my choices, and my words are good and true enough to be recognized.

It’s hard for our generation to find a job when we’re told that our volunteering, our online and computer skills, our community and campus organizing aren’t “legitimate experience.”

It’s hard for women to walk down the street without being harassed and hard for survivors of sexual assault and rape to come forward when told that their words and experiences don’t constitute “legitimate rape” or a “legitimate complaint.” Surely, they were asking for the unwanted attention, the assault.

It’s hard to listen to conservative rants about “family values” and the havoc that single mothersand marriage equality would bring to the American family unit. My parents were 17 and not yet married when I was born; I was – as they say – an “illegitimate child.” Fuck that; my parents have been married for 24 years and my family is incredibly close. And my LGBTQ friends aren’t leading legitimate lives? Bullshit. They’re people and they love who they love so get the hell over it.

And these internet trolls complaining about “emotional outbursts” in regards to attacks on young people, on women, on the LGBTQ community? You’re damn right that we’re having emotional outbursts; these attacks are personal. I can find statistics and studies to back up my opinions, but you’re not going to listen to me anyway, so whatever.  Also, we’re fucking human beings. We have emotions. Reacting emotionally shouldn’t carry the stigma that it does; I guess since emotion is so typically associate with the feminine, it’s way too much for your patriarchy-loving minds to take.

Do you want to get pissed when I incessantly post articles about and reactions to Rep. Akin’s heinous comments? Do you want to keep bitching that my generation is whiny and entitled and why don’t we all just get jobs and stop complaining about student loans (but you won’t hire us)? Do you want to keep supporting candidates and companies that promote intolerance and hatred and deny your fellow human beings their basic rights? Do you want to tell me that my parents—an Army vet and loving, supportive mother and military wife—screwed up the American family by having me a bit earlier than planned?

You want to tell us — all of us — that we’re not legitimate. Our relationships aren’t legitimate, our jobs aren’t legitimate, our concerns are not legitimate.

You want to? Go right ahead. But we’re sick and tired of it. When you’re done spewing your hate, we’re going to have emotional reactions. And you want to know what’s great about having an emotional reaction to something that touches you deeply because you’re a decent human being? It’s fucking legitimate.

This post brought to you by Dawn, who does think she can blog.

Let’s Discuss: SlutWalkNYC and Racism

Maureen: Really?

Imagine all the people living life in peace.

Photo by Kris M

It’s been 10 years. But you knew that already. It’s on our minds right now as we remember those lost and express gratitude for those who still live. I’ve mentioned before that I was a military dependent for most of my life and how grateful I am to my parents for everything they did for me. Yet I haven’t told you about the fear and the pain and the sacrifice that make strange bedfellows with that gratitude.

Yes, the military allowed me to see many different places and meet so many different people. Yes, I am grateful for the life that the military afforded my family and me. And yes, I respect the sacrifices that servicemen and women make everyday. But on 9/11, all I wanted was for my dad to come home.

Let’s Discuss: The new Lady phone

Verizon is set to sell a new Android phone called the HTC Bliss, a seafoam-green phone made just for the ladies. With a little charm that lights up when you get a text, the phone is rumored to come with a calorie counter and a shopping app already programmed in.

CUE CONTROVERSY. Mislabeled ladies, please discuss.

“I always feel the movement is a sort of mosaic.”

Thank you to the inspiring Alice Paul for so succinctly summing up the importance of individual, distinct pieces in the formation of a social movement. A mosaic, indeed.

[Authors note 1: To fully understand the content of this post, I highly recommend that you read this article. This essay, too. If not, and you just want to read the excerpts I directly respond to, that’s cool.]

To Rebecca Traister: When I saw “Clumsy Young Feminists” web headline, I began reading your article with my own prejudices. And then you start with an “I wanted to, but…” statement? [Author’s note 2: Rebecca, I know you didn’t approve that web headline (you just keep digging yourselves deeper, NY Times), but goddammit, I am not a clumsy young feminist.]

I wanted to love SlutWalks…
But at a moment when questions of sex and power, blame and credibility, and gender and justice are so ubiquitous and so urgent, I have mostly felt irritation that stripping down to skivvies and calling ourselves sluts is passing for keen retort.

An Open Letter to an Emotional Abuser

I just want to start by saying that I don’t think you’re a bad person. I never thought that you were out to get me or did any of these things intentionally to hurt me. But it happened. And it changed me. And even though I’m finally dealing with it, I’m still kind of angry. It’s hard to tell sometimes if I’m angry at myself or with you. But then I don’t want to be angry and I try to brush it off.

My Spiritual Awakening, or How Alexander McQueen reminded me of Art’s Power

Up until a couple of years ago, I’d never been really into fashion before and I hadn’t realized the art behind designing clothing. Then I learned about Alexander McQueen. I looked up images of his clothing, admired his work when Lady Gaga wore it, and was devastated that just as I was learning about this visionary he took his own life.

The official exhibit photo. Breathtaking.

Thankfully, the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City put together a beautiful collection of McQueen’s work to highlight his accomplishments and honor his genius.

Put on your shades ’cause I’ll be dancin’ in the flames

Tonight, yeah baby. Tonight, yeah baby.

Rolling Stone image/posted on gagadaily.com

Unless you live under a rock, I’m sure you know that Lady Gaga’s album Born This Way was released last Monday, May 23. I’ve had over a week to become familiar with the album so that I could effectively convey my feelings about it. I’m not writing to compare it to any other artist (or to engage in a war that I may or may not have been challenged to); just writing to express my views.

Is Blissful Ignorance Worth It?

I might have mentioned this before, but Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is my favorite movie. In case you haven’t seen it, the movie centers on a couple, Clementine and Joel (played Kate Winslet  & Jim Carrey) whose romantic relationship has gone sour.  Clementine impulsively decides to erase Joel from her memory, and Joel hastily decides to do the same. Ignorance is bliss, right?

Unrealistic Expectations, Grapes, and Awesome Dresses

After being sick for pretty much the past week, losing my voice for a few days, and taking all kinds of cold/allergy medicine, communicating hasn’t really been at the top of my priority list. That honor belongs to sleep.

Anyway, the whole not-having-a-voice thing and sleeping a lot got me to thinking about Disney princesses. (Not following the logic? Click the links.)

Be the Change.

I had read a few things about the heinous event that took place at a Baltimore McDonald’s last week, but I hadn’t watched the video; I hadn’t educated myself on what actually happened.

Then I received the Change.org petition, started by Adrian Leigh, demanding that the McDonald’s employees who stood by, encouraged, and filmed the event be held responsible.

I watched the video.

Slutwalk. Coming to Your City.

If you haven’t already heard about the Toronto Slutwalk, you should definitely check out what some awesome Canadian ladies did on April 3. Basically, a Toronto police officer said that women could avoid being sexually assaulted by not dressing like “sluts.” Oh, hey there, rape culture, great to see you rearing your ugly face again. Not…

Hooking Up, Friends, and the Beauty of Life.

Can we talk about hooking up? So there’s a ton of interpretations as to what “hooking up” actually means, but that’s definitely a conversation for a later time. What I’m most concerned about is the whole idea of hooking up with a friend and what that means for the friendship…

Just love yourself and you’re set.

So much of what I’ve written lately has been reactive. It’s often the horrors of reality that move us to words to educate and bring about change. I guess that’s my typical m.o., but lately, I’ve been thinking about the wonder that words held for me when I was younger. To say something out loud, to write it down, to share it with others gave it this incredible power. I’m not sure when I forgot that, but I want to reignite that fascination with the power of words, communication, and human connection.

Too often, we’re bombarded with images of products that can help to improve us in one way or another. It’s so easy to think of what you could change about yourself if given the chance, even for the most optimistic people. But what if we could take that power held in words and unleash it in a way to love and accept the truly wonderful things about ourselves? Just love yourself and you’re set, Gaga says.

Take a few minutes for yourself. Breathe deeply, listen to your favorite song, close your eyes, just do something for you. Now, think of 3 things (or even just 1!) that you love about yourself. It might take a little digging to find your “I love me” words, but trust me, it’s totally worth it to remind yourself how important self-acceptance is.

Now, take those words and write them down. Post them here as a comment. Tweet them (#ilovemewords). Tell your friends. Do something to give those words power and remind yourself that you accept you for who you are.

I’ll start:

1. I laugh at everything. A lot. I’m such a giggler.
2. I am honest and dependable; I can’t lie and can’t imagine letting someone down.
3. I love, love, love my little waist that totally sets off my hourglass shape. Yes.

Share your “I love me” words! Have your friends do the same and make today about loving you. (‘Cause you were born this way, baby! Sorry, I couldn’t resist. After all, it is Lady Gaga’s birthday.)

This post was brought to you by Dawn, who is probably giggling right now at who-knows-what.

I’m a free bitch, baby.

 

When we all decided to write about female power ballads or songs by strong female artists, I knew I wanted to write about Lady Gaga.  Yes, indeed, I am one of the millions completely enthralled with her.  I recently saw her in concert and easily the best performance of the night was…