Sassy Suri Cruise Cures the Rainy Day blues…

26 Aug

I don’t know about you, but this day is drraagggging. It doesn’t help that we are all getting ready to feel the wrath of Hurrican Irene (post-earthquake of course).

Alas, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. A little gem that my friend Sienna sent to me—Suri’s burn book. This amazing blog is written from the point of view of Suri Cruise about the missteps of celebrity children. She seems to have strong opinions about the Jolie-Pitt crew, as well as the daughters of Jennifer Gardner and Ben Affleck. (She’s a rich girl, and she’s gone too far…)

Check out some of my favorites so far (Note, you will get sucked in, don’t feel guilty about sitting back and reading all of the posts in one sitting):

August 24, 2011

I think I could be friends with Naleigh Kelley, daughter of Katherine Heigl. Not just because the print on that dress is super-cute and because having Asian friends is trendy, but also because the rumor is that Naleigh doesn’t really like her mom. (And by rumor, I mean Mrs. Kelley has talked about it in the press.)

I can relate because my relationship with my mother is complicated, too, and also because Katherine Heigl is JUST THE WORST.

Or this one…

August 23, 2011

People reports:

Katie Holmes made a trip to Sprinkles Cupcakes in Los Angeles after calling the shop at the last minute with a “cupcake emergency.” The actress – a major cupcake fan – bought four-dozen assorted flavors, arrived by herself to pick them up and sipped a diet soda while waiting for them to be boxed up. 

I can attest to the accuracy of this report.

It was teatime in the treehouse and the cake our pastry chef planned to serve was completely inadequate. (Seriously, though. Who serves carrot cake at a child’s formal tea party?)

Also, my guests were arriving and this seemed like the easiest way to get her out of the house.


She really seems to have some issues with Jennifer Gardner and her daughter Violet, hilarious:

August 22, 2011

Thank goodness Jennifer Garner is now officially pregnant. It’s been obvious she was carrying some bonus pounds for a while—at least now she has a good reason. (Not a great reason, mind you—keep in mind that Katie only gained 8 pounds when she was pregnant with me, and I weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces.)

This baby better hope it’s a boy, just so this family can get some new clothes for a change. Another mouth to feed at the Garner-Affleck house … pretty soon, they’re going to need their supplies airlifted in. PLEASE SEND COUTURE AND HAIRBRUSHES.


She does have a point about Britney Spears though…

August 5, 2011

This picture is my nightmare. When I go boating, I like to have amenities like a tanning deck and an on-deck casino. I mean, do you think that bald guy is their personal sushi chef? Because I don’t. Rednecks sure do have low standards.






This post is brought to you by Laura.


One Response to “Sassy Suri Cruise Cures the Rainy Day blues…”

  1. CR August 26, 2011 at 12:27 pm #

    Seriously….the boat is really low-brow. You would think somebody like Britney would at least have a Sea Ray…wow

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