America approves of God’s performance

27 Jul

Public Policy Polling recently checked in with America to find out how we’re all feeling about the debt ceiling, Congress, Rupert Murdoch, and, oh yeah, GOD. It’s very important that we monitor our feelings about God, and see if everyone’s happy, and if they’re not, like, can we call the Pope? Or the Scientologists? And just be like, Hey, here’s how we’re feeling about the Big Man Upstairs these days, and maybe he didn’t get Public Policy Polling’s press release, or doesn’t’ read HuffPo, or something and you could tell Him for us?

So America, how are you REALLY feeling about what God’s been doing these days?

If God exists, do you approve or disapprove of
its performance?
Approve …………………………………………………. 52%
Disapprove……………………………………………… 9%
Not sure …………………………………………………. 40%
If God exists, do you approve or disapprove of
its handling of natural disasters?
Approve …………………………………………………. 50%
Disapprove……………………………………………… 13%
Not sure …………………………………………………. 37%

If God exists, do you approve or disapprove of
its handling of animals?
Approve …………………………………………………. 56%
Disapprove……………………………………………… 11%
Not sure …………………………………………………. 33%

If God exists, do you approve or disapprove of
its handling of creating the universe?
Approve …………………………………………………. 71%
Disapprove……………………………………………… 5%
Not sure …………………………………………………. 24%

Wow. Seems like everyone’s either happy with God, or not sure, but mostly happy? I’m not happy, though. Like Yemen? What’s up with that, God? Are you going to feed those people, or just leave it to the NGOs? It seems like too big a job for the NGOs. Maybe you should get on that. God? Are you there? It’s me, Margaret. Listen to me when I’m getting surveyed, damnit!

This post is brought to you by Rachel, who is concerned that in the last PPP poll, the President’s approval rating was higher than God’s.

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2 Responses to “America approves of God’s performance”

  1. kelcoh July 27, 2011 at 11:53 am #

    You know I’m always tickled by a good poll! I actually love this notion of giving approval ratings for non-political figures. I’d like to know my own approval rating as a matter of fact.

    • Ellen July 29, 2011 at 12:33 pm #

      I’d give you tres fab ratings, Kelcoh

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