Let me start off by saying I have nothing but respect for women. I love women, I think they are awesome, and many of them could kick my ass. I’ve even been to see the Vagina Monologues! That said sometimes women suck. Last week, Laura wrote about her experience on the flip cup table after kickball and her “run-in” with some misogynistic “frat-tastic” guy. Well, I am that guy.
Now granted I have only a basic understanding of what feminism really is because I spend more of my time reading about tanks and guns and other things that go boom. I mean after all, I’m a man. But if my understanding is correct, feminism is really about promoting ideals of equality, freedom, and respect for women. I think that’s great, awesome in fact. I have three older sisters who I think are some of the most amazing people on the face of the earth, and a mom who’s pretty kick ass too. I think they deserve everything I deserve without exception.
Let me say it again, women are awesome and they deserve equality, freedom, and respect. What grinds my gears about feminists is not what they stand for or believe in, it’s just that feminists seem angry, and anger really isn’t my thing. For example, I say “We can’t play against you, because your team is all girls, we’re going to lose. Even it out and give our team some of the girls on your team.” (Or something very similar… Memories become hazy after a couple pitchers of beer.) What happens in response? Anger. Then I become “frat-tastic” and the subject of a feminist blog post. Now I’m not complaining because it has afforded me this opportunity to speak my mind for 600 words but it bothers me that in my albeit limited experience with feminists, they are always looking for a reason to lecture you about how what you did, said, thought was misogynistic or misguided and you should have more respect for women. Well I say, why the anger?
I know it’s probably a very negative stereotype to say all feminists are angry women, and again just to reinforce this, I don’t think all feminists are angry. In fact when I saw Laura last night, wearing my aviators (which I borrowed because I don’t actually own aviators) and sweat band (because flip cup is some of my most strenuous physical activity of the week) and loudly proclaiming that I was “fratty as fuck”, she thought it was hilarious and was excited to know I had read her blog and didn’t actually believe that the 19th Amendment was America’s biggest mistake. After we talked and she heard what I actually had to say, rather than getting angry over some flip cup table trash talk, we realized we agreed on much more than we disagreed about. We both think women are awesome, flip cup is an awesome game, and last night, for one night only, I was fratty as fuck.
So what’s my point in all of this? Just talk to us men. Not all of us are assholes, think women belong only in the kitchen, or are trying to sleep with you. Some of us are just nice people who enjoy rapidly drinking beer then attempting to flip our cup upside down. Don’t be angry if we say stupid stuff. Just talk to us and give us a chance to say what we really mean and you’ll probably be surprised to find out we’re good people.
This post is brought to you by Tom, who swears he is not a frat-tastic misogynist.
UPDATE: Read more about this here.