When the world gives you lemons, go gardening

29 Mar

So, this week has been stupid.  There’s my job (waitressing full time until all hours of the night- sometimes until 6 am. Lolol), my house (sink and tub both clogged, no electricity in my living room, and yesterday, my fucking kitchen sink fell apart! Again LOL), the media (Chris Brown on yet another violent rampage and people still defending him even though he is a talentless, pigheaded, whiny piece-of-shit jerk), the news (we’re at war? Somewhere we don’t fucking belong AGAIN. Awesome), and a plethora of articles telling me that I, as someone who proudly identifies as a feminist and one of the 84 million white women between ages 15 and 64 living in this country, am a minority-hating bigot.

But I am NOT going to talk about all this today. I’m not. I know that the authors of the aforementioned articles would look at this and think “TYPICAL privileged little white girl behavior! Avoiding the difficult issues at hand because she doesn’t have to care about the ’others’ like me!”

OK, maybe I’ll talk about it just a little.

Here is my initial response: Yes, I identify with feminism and the history of feminist theory, perhaps that makes me a silly little educated white girl, but the fact stands that reading Simone de Beauvoir saved my life and led me to an existence in which the only thing that I can ever imagine myself doing for the rest of my stupid existence is fighting  for the rights of women in this country, ALL women.  It’s true that Simone was not fully aware of the issues facing women of color, queer women, differently-abled women and so on, but the lady was writing in the 50s.  All the terms I just used in the last sentence only came into existence after Simone de Beauvoir’s death in the mid-80s.  So maybe give her a break, yeah? (I think this argument can be extended to many of the ladies mentioned in this article.  While I agree that examining the ways that olde tyme ideas still affect feminist theory is a VERY worthy cause, I don’t think such examinations should be done at the expense of the parts of early feminist arguments which paved the way for the discussion we are having right now…)

I plan to expound upon these jumbled, reactionary thoughts in later writing–probably in my planned column on feminist theory (I am also sure you can expect to hear more perspectives on this issue from the other mislabeled ladies who contribute to this blog, who I can assure you, are not racist, trans-hating, ableist bitches).  This will also give you, as a reader, some time to look over these articles yourself and develop your own opinions on the very pertinent issues they raise for modern feminists and feminist theory.

Basically, what I’m saying ladies, is that feminism and the world in general are exhausting me right now.  This brings me to what I really want to talk about today: what to do when the shit is getting you down.  Whether the shit is white girls ignoring the issues affecting minority women, or Rebecca Black nonsense making you wonder what the fucking purpose of human existence could possibly be, or realizing that every complaint you ever had is trumped by the fact that there are millions of women and children being forced into an international system of sex slavery or any other number of horrible things that happen every day all over the world… sometimes you just have to say “fuck it” and go bowling.  (I could not find a clip of this, BUT if you have Netflix, it’s streaming- watch minutes 12 to 15 of the Big Lebowski and that’s all the philosophy you need for today, okay?)


Yes, friends, it is time to get your spring garden started by planting your seedlings indoors!!!! Spend some time with some beings that don’t know who Chris Brown is or the details of female genital mutilation!  Plants! (and cats, if you have one.  If you don’t, ADOPT ONE they make the world seem peaceful).

Here are some helpful links:

1. http://www.gardensablaze.com/SeedsTips.htm This website can help you decide which herbs, flowers and vegetables you would like to grow- I am planning a part 2 of this article on fun things you can make with herbs- so get growing!

2. Here’s a video guide to seed planting indoors from a professional housewife in Cape Cod–oops, speaking of white female privilege… (p.s. just pay attention to the planting part, you don’t need the fancy grow light or heating pad stuff.)

3.http://www.aspca.org/aspca-nyc/adoptable-cats/ This will guilt you into adopting a cat….

[Ed. note — KITTEEEHHHH!]

All you need is a sunny window, some little plastic pots (or recycled egg cartons, etc), some seed starter soil and seeds (very cheap at your local hardware store), some miracle-gro nutrients that will last you all of the growing season, and some TLC (tender loving care).

Other suggestions for relaxation: meditate for 20 minutes, do some push ups, watch Lebowski on loop, do some fun arts and crafts (like making labels for your plants!!), go see the magnolia trees at your local botanical gardens/arboretum (they are in bloom for the next 10 days!!!), spend some time relishing in springtime goodness. Soon you’ll be whistling this.

This post was brought to you by Alexa, who is still clinging to sanity.

One Response to “When the world gives you lemons, go gardening”

  1. RL March 29, 2011 at 2:17 pm #

    “People who continue to be celebrated as feminist heroes leave a legacy of ableism, racism, classism, transphobia in their wake. The feminist movement has never gotten away from this, despite the best attempts of many of its members.”
    -from Why I’m Leaving Feminism (http://meloukhia.net/2011/03/why_im_leaving_feminism.html)

    Maybe it’s my innocent version of feminism, but the feminism she describes isn’t mine. My pro-lady power friends aren’t any of those things. And my feminist movement isn’t like that, either.

    So what to do? Do I deny it, and get called an ignorant bitch? Or do I say, “you’re right,” and join this lady in giving up?

    Hell, no.

    My feminism is Mislabeled. And I’m here to show ya’ll what the fuck is up.

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