Nicki Minaj gets you ready for office stalking

25 Mar

OK biddies. If you haven’t listened to Nicki Minaj, keep reading. Don’t stop til you get enough. If you have uncertain or negative feelings toward rap, or if you get pretty pissed about how ladies are presented in that kind of music, you better stay, too. Let me blow your mind.

Well, let Nicki do it.

Now that I’ve raised unrealistic expectations, I’m going to bring them down by reminding you of the song you have probably heard by Nicki that isn’t 100% pro-lady – Roman’s Revenge. It’s a pretty awesome song that gets stuck in your head and makes you yell one liners (MANNING, ELI!), but it’s tainted with Eminem’s sick and twisted “Ima tie you up and pee on you” bullshit.

But! But. Don’t let that single fool you. Nicki’s Pink Friday is a fantastic lady album, and I’m going to prove it to you by  raving about the first track, “ I’m the best.”

First off, this is the kind of song I want to wake up to every. single. day. I want this song to play while I’m biking to work, when I’m in an elevator, when I walk through my office doors. That way, I’m fully motivated to stalk through the halls, giving everyone looks like WATCH ME I’M ABOUT TO CRUSH YOU. Or something. I don’t really want to crush anyone.

You relate, right?

Hmm. Ok, well the song is also about saving the girls, another reason it’s a must-have on a lady’s i-pod. (I’m looking at you, Maureen.) Let’s take a look at some of the lyrics:

now the whole album back you ain’t gotta skip a track
i ain’t gotta get a plaque, I ain’t gotta get awards
i just walk up out the door all the girls will applaud
all the girls will commend, as long as they understand
that i’m fighting for the girls, that never thought they could win
cause before they could begin you told’em it was the end
but I am here to reverse the curse that they live in
got two bones to pick, I ‘ma only choose one
you might get addressed on the second album once
which means you can breath, til I motherfuckin say so
to all my bad bitches, i can see your halo

OK, so even if you don’t need a theme song to stalk around at your office, YOU CANNOT HATE THIS SONG. It’s for the girls! It’s for girls who wear halos! It’s for girls who are thrown down by society! What feminist can say no? Not you. Definitely not you.

Now that you are convinced, it’s time for a BONUS ROUND!

Nicki pays tribute to her mama in the song (and in the album’s notes, where she writes to her mama: “You told me all things were possible. You supported me unconditionally.”). I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a mama like that. I am pro-mama. And Nicki is too – she bought her mama a house! Just another reason to love/relate to Nicki.

Anyway. Let’s review – Nicki helps us stalk around and feel powerful. She wants to save the girls and give them all halos. And she loves her mama, which is why she bought her a house/couch (nice rhyme, Nicki!).

Really, what’s not to like?

This post is brought to you by Rachel, who is quite threatening in her office.

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One Response to “Nicki Minaj gets you ready for office stalking”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. DUBSTEP WAHHHH (Hey Nicki!!) « mislabeled - April 26, 2011

    […] Apr OK I’m into dubstep. And you already know how much I’m into Nicki. Which is why I’m pleased to present for your listening pleasure and/or criticism, a new song […]

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