G. L. A. M. O. R. O. U. S. (You saw this coming…)

23 Mar

Ok, so I have a dilemma. I’m a woman, I work at a women’s organization, I support female equality and yet according to my iPod, I can’t stand to listen to female voices. Out of the 100+ artists on my iPod, only about 10 are female.

Oops.

Do I get extra points if I can name all of them in one fell swoop? Fiona Apple, Adele, Feist, Eisley, Stars, Sara Bareilles, She & Him, Rilo Kiley, Tegan & Sara, Metric, and (totally not embarrassed to admit) Kelly Clarkson.

I should be ashamed of the lack of female representation on my iPod, but I’m not. My tolerance is quite low for females creating music that is often really shitty and mainstream (Friday girl). I didn’t say non-existent, just low.

Of course there is a slew of independent female artists that I could listen to, but don’t. I own up to it: I like dudes.

That being said, sometimes it’s really hard to get motivated to do squats and lift weights when all I’m listening to is whiny indie boys and their guitars.

Insert pop divas. I recently downloaded some popular made-by-ladies tunes that I keep on auto-repeat at my gym.  Among them:  ‘Hollaback Girl,’ by Gwen, ‘Single Ladies,’ by Beyonce, and ‘Glamorous,’ by Fergie, the artist who has now dominated my ‘most recently played’ list.

Do I sip champagne in First Class? No.

Do I make hit records? No.

Am I on the covers of magazines? No.

Is my life working at a nonprofit, and being a college student/wife /mother glamorous? Hell no.

And I don’t even know what ‘flossy’ means….

So why do I love and relate to a song I would otherwise cringe at? Three words. Keep. It. Real.

“Wear them gold and diamonds rings, all them things don’t mean a thing… I be on the movie screens

Magazines and bougie scenes…I’m not clean, I’m not pristine, I’m no queen, I’m no machine…

I don’t care, I’m still real.”

I could be an elitist and scoff at the obvious grammatical errors of the lyrics, point out the fact that Ludacris makes a better actor than rapper, and mention that Fergie isn’t really that great of a singer/entertainer (see:Superbowl). Or I can just be real and admit I like the song; it reminds me of what matters in life and most importantly, it gets me moving on the Stairmaster.

Oh, and thanks to Fergie Ferg, I learned how to spell glamorous. That’s the real reason this is my female power ballad.

This post brought to you by Maureen.

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